Never Again
by who tf knows
Summary: Due to pure procrastination, Dan turns on the TV when he should be editing a video, and what is the latest thing on the news? The school Phil goes to is up in flames. Without having any way of making sure he's alive, Dan rushes to the scene, out of his mind with worry - not everyone get a happy ending, after all… Warnings: swearing NO CHARACTER DEATH


**Hey guys!**

**Yet another Phan oneshot for you when I should be writing english essays or updating some of my other fanfictions… yay motivation!**

**Summary: Due to pure procrastination, Dan turns on the TV when he should be editing a video, and what is the latest thing on the news? The school Phil goes to is up in flames. Without having any way of making sure he's alive, Dan rushes to the scene, out of his mind with worry - not everyone get a happy ending, after all…**

**enjoy!**

Dan turned off his camera, shaking his head at how socially inept he was - I mean, how much of a _fucking idiot_ would you have to be to get your head- y'know what, he decided, I'm not gonna think about it. He sat back in his chair, sighing, now it was time for his f_avourite_ part of being a youtuber: _the editing._

Dan sat in his chair for a while, contemplating as to whether he deserved a break to if he should just get on with editing this monster of a video. He was certain he rambled for at least 20 minutes.

Just the thought of that made the familiar urge to Tumblr or Youtube or watch TV for as long as physically possible even stronger.

Dan shugged - he'd definitely start on it tomorrow. He picked up the remote and switched it on.

_"- And now over to the University of York, where we have just gotten word of an act of arson taken to the extreme, Michelle, what is going on over there?"_

Dan froze, his blood ran cold.

_"Thank you Greg, well as you can see behind me, the fires have yet to be put out but firefighters are working as hard as they can. The number of students to make it out alive has not yet been determined but-"_

That was all he needed to hear. Dan sprinted out of the apartment, calling a taxi hastily. He tapped his foot, ran his hands though his hair and mangled his fingernails until they bled.

Dan was worried- no, he was_ beyond_ worried, he was_ fucking terrified. _When the cab pulled up, he almost ripped the door open in his urgency and stuttered out the address. The cabby glanced at him sympathetically when Dan rattled off the name of the school that had gone up in flames.

"Got someone there?" he asked with a tinge of pity lacing his cautious words.

Dan nodded, wishing for once that the traffic was in his favour. "My- my boyfriend" he answered.

The cabby nodded in understanding and fell silent, shifting uncomfortably at the _sheer and utter dread_ that radiated off the young man next to him.

"I'm sure he'll be fine" he said in cardboard reassurance.

Dan's leg jogged soundlessly and his hands danced faintly on invisible keys.

The cabby sped up, trying to get there as quickly as possible, but the uni was quite a while away.

Dan retreated into his thoughts, worry turning into dread which turned into anxiety which turned into fear and everything just snowballed into _pure, unbridled terror._

_What if he died? what would I do? how could I live? what would I possibly do without Phil? how can I even…_

Dan let out a pathetic, dry sob.

"Hold on kid, we're almost there - your boyfriend's gonna be fine, you hear me?"

True to his word, the cab pulled up not two minutes later to a smoking, hissing caracas of a school. Dan wrenched open the door and scrambled out, patting his pockets in search for his wallet and glancing worriedly up at the ashes and burnt brickwork.

"Kid. Don't forget about it, now go get your boyfriend."

Dan let out a breathless "thank you" and ran.

He _ran_, faster than he ever had before.

Directing his concentration to the grass where all the students were talking in hoarse whispers and rasping sentences.

_Not there, not there, not there, not ANYWHERE._

Dan grasped feebly at his hair, his already bloody fingertips smearing the thick liquid throughout.

"Phil?" he called weakly.

Nothing.

Not a single whisper.

"Phil!"

Silence.

Dan crouched down, head in his hands.

"And here we have the survivors thus far…" He heard a reporter's voice say "let's see what they have to tell…"

_Fuck off._ Dan thought, _no one's going to want to go on a fucking live news report at a time like this._

_"Excuse me" _Dan peeked up and saw the news reporter was hassling a group of about 5 with soot-dusted clothes and grating voices _"can you tell everyone at home what it was like, being trapped in there? Do you have any friends who have died from the fire?"_

The group just glared at her until one of them stood up and yelled "Yes! people have fucking DIED today! don't go around asking if it's one of their _friends_! how tactless could you be?! If someone had a friend that didn't make it out, do you think they'd want to talk to _you_ about it?! much less the entire fucking _world_?!" She sat back down at put her arm around the girl next to her, who was sobbing.

The news reporter tried desperately to backpedal - apologising, giving out haphazard, flustered excuses by the dozen.

The the man videoing the whole thing sighed and turned his camera off, probably prompting an ad break.

The adrenalin had run out, and Dan slumped onto the grass, eyes watering. What if…

What if he

never

saw

Phil

again?

The sheer realness of the situation collided into Dan at full force. That was actually a possibility - that there was a chance Phil would no longer be in his life…

No more late night cuddles…

No more Buffy marathons…

No more sleepy kisses at 2am…

No more lazy days…

_No more Phil…_

Dan wiped frantically at his eyes, not wanting to cry in front of all these people.

_I wish I could have died instead of him…_

There was a splintering sound on Dan's left and he looked up to see firefighters carrying several people coughing their lungs out.

Dan sprinted towards the bodies shrouded in shock blankets, hope rising in Dan and scrambling at his throat in a desperate need to be reassured that his boyfriend was ok… that he was alive…

He stopped when he reached them, laid out on the ground and coughing like they had smoked fifty cigarettes a day for twenty years.

"Ph… Phil?" he asked cautiously, scanning each of the coughing, wheezing figures before him.

With each person, the hope was dragged lower and lower into his stomach before settling into dread when he reached the last person.

Dan knelt down and carefully removed the blue fabric from the person's face. He gave a moan of protest when the sunlight reached his tightly closed eyelids.

Dan couldn't breathe.

_"Phil" _he murmured, before throwing himself onto the boy chest, tears falling down his face in relief.

"Da…an… hu..rts.." Phil grimaced before falling unconscious

He grasped Phil's hand. "Come on Phil, you're gonna be fine… you've got to be fine… please…"

The paramedics brought Phil into the ambulance, haphazardly asking Dan if he was going to ride with them, and then for him to hurry it up because people were dying in there.

Dan sat in the ambulance, feeling numb all over. The air smelt like burning flesh and cremated ashes, death hung in the air like smog, choking up those who were unlucky enough to be conscious.

When they had finally pulled into the hospital, Dan was shoved into the waiting room with short, clipped instructions to stay there until they said he could see Phil.

"He inhaled a lotta smoke, deary" said the lady at the front desk after an hour "and, by the looks of things, he's got some pretty bad burns as well…"

Dan sighed and retreated back to his uncomfortable, plastic seat.

After successfully warding off boredom for another twenty minutes by drumming on his leg, Dan pulled out his phone.

As soon as he turned the device on, a nurse came in and shouted: "Phil Lester? is anyone here for a Mr. Phillip Lester?"

Dan stood up, hastily shoving his phone in his pocket and speed walking over to her. She smiled and gestured for him to follow her down the hall.

"Is he ok?" Dan asked frantically and she smiled good-naturedly.

"Why don't you ask him for yourself?"

She stopped and opened the door to room 212.

"Here he is, press the red button if you need anything" she winked and made her way back down to the waiting area.

Dan took a deep breath and walked up to the elevated bed.

"Phil?" he asked softly

His eyes slowly blinked open.

"Dan"

"Hey… you alright?"

He just nodded, and Dan had to stop myself from throwing his arms around him and crying in relief. His fingers burned with the desire to grasp his hand, or cup his face or just to do _anything_ that reassured him that Phil was ok.

Dan's eyes started watering.

"Do… do you have any idea how worried I was?" he whispered softly "I saw on the news that your school was on fire and… and I just… and then you weren't there…"

He looked down.

"_You weren't anywhere…"_

Phil reached down and softly placed his hand on Dan's.

"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't survived" Dan gave a spluttery laugh "I don't think I'd be able to do anything if you weren't there…"

Silent tears ran down the younger boy's face.

Phil raised Dan's hand to his lips and slowly pressed a kiss to his flesh.

"I love you" Dan said suddenly, breaking Phil out of his trance.

"I know this is kinda sudden, but today, when I thought about how I could possibly lose you… I realised…"

Phil nodded, tears sparking in his eyes.

"I love you too."

**Well, that went in a totally different direction than I had planned.**

**Originally it was gonna be something like Dan's subscribers saw the news and were worried about Phil, even though he doesn't do youtube and Dan was gonna get hounded by the news lady and burst into tears in front of the entirety of England and be immortalised as a gif forever.**

**I don't know why I thought that was a good idea, but OH WELL**

**thanks for reading!**

**~thornsword~**


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